Mother’s home and father’s home - Although it’s not always this way in reality, in the game the hero has one private room of his own though it’s not clear where it is.  And he has two palaces - the mother’s palace and the father’s palace.  In each palace he still has a pet that he has to feed in the course of the game, and which he misses.

The move from living in one home to living in two is not simple.  Just recently a child of 9 who had been through divorce said, “What am I? A suitcase, that has to move twice a week from house to house?
This certainly is not simple. There are many mediating variables that in the end determine the level of the difficulty, such as the relationship with the parent, the parent’s personality, the presence of a new partner(s), etc.

Ping Pong Games: Sometimes a situation is created in which the timing of visiting between homes is very uncomfortable, for both child and parent.  For instance, the child might have a group activity or some event or may simply be in the middle of a game.  Studies show   that many fathers are frustrated by the fact that their children make plans for the weekend that they are supposed to spend with the father.  These arrangements can be due to the child’s personal plans, the influence of one of the parents, the child’s need to assert his independence or refusal to be in contact with the parent.

The messenger episode represents a range of such situations on a metaphoric level.

Just at the critical and important moment, when the hero is in the middle of the elevator episode, a messenger arrives who reports to him that he has to go and feed the fish in the queen’s palace.  This is the last thing he wants to be dealing with at this moment in the episode, because it completely diverts his attention from what he is doing.
The hero can agree and move on to the suggested episode.  He can also refuse to do so.
He can move to the palace, either because he wants to be there, or because he is obedient but frightened, angry and opposed, since he likes to please others and is compassionate and considerate, or it could emanate from a sense of responsibility and maturity.
It could also simply be because he thinks these are the rules of the game and he has not yet grasped the metaphoric level.

He can also choose not to go to the palace, at least for the course of a few episodes, and he can object at the dialogue level, for example:

Moose:  [whining] “But this isn’t FAIR!!! .  Besides, why do I have to go over there anyway?”

He can object at the game level, i.e. he can simply avoid moving to the palace episode.
The game cannot be completed without spending time in all the episodes.
In any event, this is an opportunity to deal metaphorically with the conflict of mother, father, two homes, and their place in the life of hero and player.

Adolescence is characterized by a style of coping that fluctuates between independence and breaking free, and dependence and childishness; between perceiving the parents as ideal figures and relating to them as weak and disappointing.  The behavior towards the parents fluctuates between crassness and sensitivity.  The adolescent senses the pain of the parents intensely but avoids externalizing this.  The attitude to the custodian parent ranges from anger and distancing to excessive identification and taking on unnecessary responsibility.

The dialogues in the two home episodes reflect the accepted range of reactions and the type of relationship the child has with the mother and with the father.  For instance, in the father’s palace, one of the dialogues the player can choose is one that speaks of yearning and warmth, on the part of both father and hero.

Moose:  (laughing) “I sure missed that sense of humor!” 
King:     (proud) “There’s more where THAT came from, you know…”
Moose:  “Oh I’m COUNTING on it… It’s just too bad I’ve been so busy lately.  But don’t worry, I’ll be home soon. Peace out, Dad!”

Or
Moose:  ”Listen, as much as I’m enjoying chatting with you, I really should get going. ”
King:    “Wait a minute! Where are you always running off to? ”
Moose: ”Sorry Dad, we really DO have a lot to catch up on, and I PROMISE I’ll tell you all about it… But right now Duty Calls!”

Or conversations that express anger at the separation:

King:     “Hey. See how everything just flows into place?”
Moose:  (cynical) “Yeah sure, but then a natural disaster comes and blows everything back apart.”
King:     (smiling) “And then it all flows into a new place once again.”
Moose:  “Tomato, tomAto, potato potATo….”
Moose: (angry) “Yeah, or better yet, instead of waiting for the cosmic flow you can just FORCE it back together.”

Or, in the queen’s palace
The player is sometimes empathic to his mother and sometimes a bit cynical. They talk about the fact that the situation has changed.  Life is not like it used to be.  It was better then.  Or they talk about the fact that some things would be better forgotten.

In both homes there are dialogues that could lead the child to a situation of triangulation.  Various responses are possible.  For instance, in the king’s palace:

King:     ”Such a flare for the dramatic, you got that from your mother’s side no doubt.”
Moose: (hinting) “Interesting remark… Is there anything ELSE I should be getting from her side?”
King:    “Wait a minute… Did your mother send you?”
Moose: ”Mom? Uh, no… Um… Why do you ask? Wow, it’s getting late… You know what they say- So much to do, so little time… Uh… hmm, well, ok… See ya, Dad!”

In reality the following possibilities exist: that the player comes from a single parent family, that he does not know his father, that his father abandoned the family, that the parents live far away from each other and he sees one of them only during vacations and holidays, or that he refuses contact. In these cases, the player will undergo different inner processes resulting from the very existence of two homes in the game.  The game process forces him to choose to be in both homes even if he doesn’t want to.

Continue reading “Part 15 - Support, Acceptance and Communication”

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