Although the parents, grandparents, school support systems and psychotherapists played a part in providing help,   
the greatest emotional assistance reported by children years after the event is the help they received from siblings and friends. Which brings us to the hero’s best friend, the beaver.
The beavers’ family is a sort of a stereotyped family. A sense of warmth emanates from the food.  They serve warm milk and hot chocolate, ask if the child has prepared his lessons, etc.  This family also goes through a crisis but they overcome it and build their home anew.

The level of openness and emotional sharing varies from family to family and from child to child.  From the age of nine, children generally have more verbal ability and in principle they ought to be able to use language to cope with the loss.  However, usually the pain is too huge to touch and the children make use of defenses such as denial, repression and avoidance, sometimes until they reach adolescence.
In the short term this may be an effective mechanism but in the long term the price is heavy.

In the game, the beaver becomes terribly frustrated when it thinks its parents have separated, and shares its feelings with the moose, effectively reducing its communication by employing humor.  The purpose here is to provide an expression for the player’s repressed thoughts and denials.

Moose: ”You know what Humphord always says: The answers lie within yourself…”
Beaver: ”The only thing within MYSELF right now, is pure sadness, utter frustration, complete and total disappointment, and the blueberry pancakes Pa made for breakfast this morning. ”

Moose: ”You know, you really shouldn’t be keeping all this stuff inside of you… It’s not healthy!”
Beaver: ”What am I supposed to do then?”
Moose: ”Well, just let it all out! You’ll feel much better… I PROMISE!”
Beaver: ”Well, ok… Here goes…. BLAAAH!”
Moose: (disgusted) “That’s NOT… what I MEANT…”
Beaver: ”I guess that’s why I don’t feel any BETTER…”

At this stage of the game the moose is in better shape and is able to encourage the beaver.

Beaver: ”Just when I thought I couldn’t feel any more CONFUSED…”
Moose: ”I know…”
Beaver: ”There’s only one thing I know: Don’t count on NOTHIN’ or better yet, on NO ONE but YOURSELF!”
Moose: ”That’s a good way to end up bitter and alone…”
Beaver: ”Oh, who CARES!”

The moose even suggests he get additional help.

Moose: ”Well, I can get you in touch with this wise-guy OYSTER…”

And the dialogue continues with an openness that is adolescent age-appropriate, sincerity mixed with humor.
Beaver: ”Sorry, pal.  I don’t mean to be taking all this out on YOU…”
Moose: ”It’s ok.. Believe me, I can TAKE it.”
Beaver: ”Oh RIGHT…I forgot! You’ve already been there AND done that…”
Moose: ”Well, yeah, I DID go through some very…”
Beaver: (gasps) “And you’re STILL around to TELL about it?”

And the beaver actually does find himself encouraged by the sharing.

Beaver: (start walking away together, backs to player) “I Mean, if YOU can get past this, knowing how stubborn, and sensitive and over cynical you are… Well, I guess ANYONE can!”

The episode concludes with the following dialogue:

Moose: ”I didn’t know perfect families FIGHT.”
Beaver: ”I didn’t know there are such things as  perfect FAMILIES…”

Continue reading “Part 16 – Power Versus Strength”

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